In multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages?

#societies #people #backgrounds #work

Individuals of different

beliefs

and customs live and work together, in multi-cultural

societies

. In my opinion, I think the benefits of multi-cultural

societies

outweigh any disadvantages that they can bring.

To begin

with, one major advantage of a society with

people

from different backgrounds is an opportunity to appreciate other

beliefs

In other words

people

can learn and understand why

people

behave in certain ways if they are always in the same community.

Consquently

Correct your spelling

Consequently

people

will be

intergrated

Correct your spelling

integrated

as they will value different opinions brought from various cultures due to the knowledge acquired.

For example

, I know have an understanding of Moslem dressing and

thus

accomodate

Correct your spelling

accommodate

their views in every aspect

irregardless

Replace the word

regardless

show examples

of their background. Despite the above advantage, I believe there is a

possiblity

Correct your spelling

possibility

of disagreements in multi-cultural

societies

This

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

, it is difficult to come to a

concensus

Correct your spelling

consensus

when individuals have

diffirent

Correct your spelling

different

beliefs

and values.

For instance

, in a

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

where

people

with

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

religious background ,

particulary

Correct your spelling

particularly

Moslems and Christians, need to have the same code of dressing.

Such

will be near impossible as these groups dress completely different.

However

, in these

situations

Add a comma

,situations

show examples

people

need to compromise and come up with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

possible solution, especially if they understand each

others

Change to a genitive case

other's

show examples

background as mentioned above. In conclusion, understanding and appreciating various

beliefs

and customs in multi-cultural

societies

outweigh the drawback of possible disagreements that might rise up.

Submitted by maereseratariro on Fri Apr 23 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

Many people spend a lot of time and money on watching films and TV shows, either at home or in cinemas. This can have a negative impact on their health, budget, and lifestyle. What are the causes and effects of this phenomenon? How can it be prevented or reduced?

You live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger. In your letter say where the park is, say how often this happens give a description of the man a

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?