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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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Scientific purposes have been the topic of much thought and discussion.
Although
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 some
people
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 believe that the most significant purpose of
science
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 is enhancing
people
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's quality of
life
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, I completely disagree with
this
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 idea which I will consider now. Boosting different aspects of
people
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's lives is one of the purposes that
science
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 follows but it is not the only one. With advancements in technological equipment, doctors can diagnose various diseases easily and fast, significantly increasing
life
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 expectancy and reducing the child mortality rate.
In addition
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, innovations
such
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 as the internet, smartphones, and laptops have revolutionized communication and business, so
people
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 with the help of these digital technologies can connect across vast distances and access information, thereby enhancing productivity and improving work-
life
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 balance.
However
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,
science
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 plays a crucial role in the improvement of the environment. In terms of environmental prospects, scientific advancements have paved the way for a deeper understanding of environmental issues like floods, climate change, and pollution which are caused by human activities.
For instance
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, research in renewable energy technologies
such
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 as solar and wind power reduces our reliance on fossil fuels, thereby lowering carbon emissions and slowing global warming.
In addition
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, animal welfare is as, important as if not more important than, human
life
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 for the scientific approach. Scientific research has shown that poor treatment of
animals
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 can lead to some severe diseases that jump from
animals
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 to humans like sars, and COVID-19, so it is important for
science
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 to reduce the risk of outbreaks from
animals
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, leading to public health and safety. In conclusion, from my point of view, individual quality of
life
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 is one of the most important aims of
science
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 but without preserving
animals
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 and addressing environmental issues, it cannot happen.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Introductory Clarity
Try to provide a more detailed introduction to your essay. Although your position is clear, a brief explanation on why you hold this view would make it stronger.
Conclusion Strength
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your arguments more clearly, reinforcing your thesis without introducing new ideas.
Argument Specificity
Develop your arguments with more specific examples. While your essay covers broad concepts, incorporating precise examples strengthens your claims significantly.
Logical Structure
Your essay exhibits a logical structure, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments. Particularly, the division into paragraphs for each aspect considered is commendable.
Complex Idea Engagement
The introduction of topics like the environment and animal welfare as parallel aims of science demonstrates a broad understanding and an ability to engage with complex ideas beyond the immediate question.
Linguistic Range
Your use of advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures contributes positively to the readability and sophistication of your essay, enhancing its overall impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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