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Band 4.5

The government should lower the budget on arts in order to allocate more money on education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #budget #arts #money #education
History reveals that
stable
Correct article usage
the stable
show examples
 economy of any nation is tremendously contributed by the appropriate distribution of its financial resources. The proper allocation of government funds has always been a greatly concerned issue and questions
such
 as which area should be invested in more( arts or
education
) are evolved
as a result
. To me, a proper balance has to be maintained for the investment for the growth of
prosperous
Correct article usage
a prosperous
show examples
 nation that will be elucidated in upcoming paragraphs. The prominent reason for considering
art work
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
 to be
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 part of
country’s
 economy is that the art galleries and museums are the tourist hotspots where foreigners pay their visits to have information about
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 cultures,
customes
Correct your spelling
customs
customers
, bravery, sacrifice enriched history and its ancestors. Their contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 economy can be observed during
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 pandemic ‘ Covid-19’. In
nationwide
Add an article
a nationwide
show examples
 lockdown,
for example
, India’s Gross Domestic Product curve experienced a decline of 3.1% according to
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of Statistics.
Furthermore
, it provides students
insight
Add an article
an insight
show examples
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their rich history.
Likewise
,
education
 is considered another sector
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 should never be compromised when it comes to financial distribution.
Firstly
 , children are the
Correct your spelling
building blocks
show examples
building-blocks
Correct your spelling
building blocks
show examples
 of any nation, and without
education
, they are unlikely to raise their
country’s
 stature among developed countries.
Therefore
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
 strategic utilization of the money granted to
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 area should be given priority to ensure every child’s right to get primary
education
 is fulfilled.
Secondly
, upgrading the current
education
 system with some technological advancements
such
 as computers, projectors that require fundings. To conclude,
although
 art galleries are deemed to secure a large portion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Gross Domestic Product , without
quality
Correct article usage
a quality
show examples
education
 system the raise is vain.
Therefore
, the wise allocation should be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
given the topmost priority.
Submitted by rubalpannu777 on

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