IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #food #population #import
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization gradually promotes
people
Use synonyms
 to import foods from other
countries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
countries
Use synonyms
 should provide
people
Use synonyms
 with their own-produced groceries mainly
instead
Linking Words
 of relying on importing from overseas. In my
opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I disagree that
countries
Use synonyms
 ought to offer their local food but neglect the importance of foreign
products
Use synonyms
. I
iwll
Correct your spelling
will
 discuss both views and support my opinion.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is vital for individuals to shop freely and have more options
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 shopping. It might be a drawback for consumers if
shop
Correct article usage
the shop
show examples
 only
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
show examples
 on domestic food. Not only
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 shopping become dull and boring but
also
Linking Words
 the markets lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 diversity on the
Correct your spelling
shelf
shelves
shelfs
Correct your spelling
shelves
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have no longer enjoy the happiness
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 shopping overseas
products
Use synonyms
 without
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 miles away if we reduce the imported items.
People
Use synonyms
 can only procure exotic fruits or vegetables that have difficulty
to plant
Change the verb form
planting
show examples
 in their
countries
Use synonyms
 by spending more money on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that
countries
Use synonyms
 should offer more domestic
goods
Use synonyms
 to
people
Use synonyms
 and turn down a number of
interntional
Correct your spelling
international
products
Use synonyms
, which I am afraid that I disagree
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, it might protect the local farmers if we focus on producing local food. Local farmers might survive from the global competitive prices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it might protect the environment if we reduce imported
goods
Use synonyms
. Local foods travel shorter delivery distance compared to foreign
goods
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, local foods
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
archive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decarbonization. To sum up, both local
products
Use synonyms
 and imported
goods
Use synonyms
 have their advantages.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that it is significant for
countries
Use synonyms
 to introduce some overseas
products
Use synonyms
 for their community.
Submitted by unopr67 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: