IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #food #population #import
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There is no doubt that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization gradually promotes
people
 to import foods from other
countries
.
However
, many
people
 argue that
countries
 should provide
people
 with their own-produced groceries mainly
instead
 of relying on importing from overseas. In my
opinoin
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I disagree that
countries
 ought to offer their local food but neglect the importance of foreign
products
. I
iwll
Correct your spelling
will
 discuss both views and support my opinion.
First
 of all, it is vital for individuals to shop freely and have more options
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 shopping. It might be a drawback for consumers if
shop
Correct article usage
the shop
show examples
 only
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
show examples
 on domestic food. Not only
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 shopping become dull and boring but
also
 the markets lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 diversity on the
Correct your spelling
shelf
shelves
shelfs
Correct your spelling
shelves
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
people
 have no longer enjoy the happiness
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 shopping overseas
products
 without
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 miles away if we reduce the imported items.
People
 can only procure exotic fruits or vegetables that have difficulty
to plant
Change the verb form
planting
show examples
 in their
countries
 by spending more money on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad.
On the other hand
, some
people
 claim that
countries
 should offer more domestic
goods
 to
people
 and turn down a number of
interntional
Correct your spelling
international
products
, which I am afraid that I disagree
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
However
, it might protect the local farmers if we focus on producing local food. Local farmers might survive from the global competitive prices.
Moreover
, it might protect the environment if we reduce imported
goods
. Local foods travel shorter delivery distance compared to foreign
goods
.
Therefore
, local foods
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
archive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decarbonization. To sum up, both local
products
 and imported
goods
 have their advantages.
However
, I believe that it is significant for
countries
 to introduce some overseas
products
 for their community.
Submitted by unopr67 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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