IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

#people #pets #children #options
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There has been a remarkable increase in the number of
people
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 who think that some feeding tame animals at home have beneficial effects on their babies while a bunch of
people
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 are taking objection saying that
this
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 attitude can bring out some jeopardous consequences. In my opinion, adopt an animal has numerous benefits for the children and I will show you why I think like
this
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. On the one hand, it cannot deny that animals and
people
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 are not equivalent in terms of wise.
In addition
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 to
this
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, it does not distinguish which act is hazardous for baby, who are absolutely vulnerate and weak.
Therefore
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, cat or others can pose a danger for offsprings especially, if a child has left alone at home with a pet. According to some health reports published by famous doctors have shown that some babies have suffered from the profound wound which resulted from their pets.
On the other hand
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, much more
people
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 believe that pets result in some indigenous benefits
such
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 as friendships or protector.
Firstly
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, cats and dogs, like other animals, have a crucial feature called loyalty.
Therefore
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, they never forget their owner and approach with affinity, which leads to togetherness forever.
Secondly
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,
in particular
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, dogs protect children inherently. While an unwished situation is occurring, they comprehend beforehand and let the kid’s parents know by barking.
For example
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, my cousin was grown up with a dog and the dog his best friend in the world. In conclusion, with the reasons mentioned above, it can be clearly said that, despite some opposing
people
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, we do not exaggerate if we say that pets living at home with infants provide abundant benefits.
Submitted by Burak on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • companion
  • responsibility
  • care
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • social skills
  • transmit
  • diseases
  • allergies
  • safety risks
  • time
  • effort
  • money
  • mature
  • handle
What to do next:
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