The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Some

people

believe that more physical education lessons in the school curriculum will help combat overweight issues amongst the

people

. Nowadays, the count of overweight

people

is going high and pressure the

government

to deal with the

health

problems. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

, sports and exercise are key to good

health

and deal with overweight issues. I shall examine my view on

this

in the following paragraphs. On one side,the

government

should come up with a new rule to include new subject as

health

systems in school curriculum which leads to improving the physical and mental strength in their early ages.It

also

increases the concentration on studies as well whereas It becomes a day to day habit in their routine life.

For example

, they are an existing plan working right now in the education system.

Therefore

, the schools included the sports period in their daily classes which encourages children to participate in different age sports competitions same applies to

health

. On the other side,

people

should follow a good diet plan in their regular routine along with exercise.Whereas, it helps them to control their overweight problems.

In addition

health

care

services help

people

who are suffering from these problems. the duty of the

government

should take

care

of its citizens.For instances,always good to have pressure on the

health

care

system, due to an emergency situation where we have left oxygen cylinders and beds available in the hospitals. In conclusion, the

government

should include a new subject on the

health

system for their

people

this

gives the habit of

health

care

in their regular living.

Moreover

, everyone should follow a proper diet plan and exercise regularly.

However

, I completely agreed with

this

Submitted by rojakunala on Tue Apr 27 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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