Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Since the advent of television, it has gone through a revolutionary change, at
first
, it was used as a medium for audiovisual news and entertainment at a certain
time
of the day only. Nowadays, people are all the
time
glued on their TV Screens sparing no
time
for any physical activity and social interaction with other people. I completely agree, the main reason behind
this
situation is unchecked viewing of television to kill
time
.
This
essay will analyze the reasons causing
this
phenomenon in the below paragraphs. To commence with, The main reason that
lead
Change the verb form
leads

The plural verb lead does not appear to agree with the singular subject The main reason. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to a drastic change in peoples mentality on television viewing is binge-worthy shows and movies, which keeps the
person
interested in the story for a longer period of
time
with tactics of delaying the climax and suddenly twisting the plot.
As a result
, making
person
time
worthwhile. At the same ,
time
such
serials sow the seed of procrastination in
person
Correct article usage
a person

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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mind creating false notions and confusion on priorities.
For example
, Game of Thrones garnered a million views final episode on a streaming site. a number of experts say more than a million hours of manpower was wasted when that final episode streamed. That many hours could have used productively by the fans of the show.
Secondly
, Some video channels create clickbait videos which
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject clickbait videos. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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has
Add the particle
tohas

It appears that the verb seduce should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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seduce the
person
to stream their content, which eventually creates no value in the
person
Replace the word
personal

The word person doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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life and
therefore
, waste
time
only. Recent research has shown that excessive streaming can reduce the attention span of an individual hampering their learning capabilities. In Conclusion, I firmly believe that excessive TV watching is the main culprit causing making people
lead
Fix the infinitive
to lead

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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a sedentary lifestyle and adopting anti-social behaviour. Some mitigation and rehabilitation plan should be in place to control
this
epidemic.
Submitted by Monty  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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