**You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.** ***Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve.*** ***Discuss both these views and give your opinion.*** **Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.** **Write at least 250 words.**
#**you #minutes #***some #people #schools #impact #children #environment #***discuss #**give #**write
In recent years, the debate on how much competition should be part of
school
is spreading worldwide. Of course, there are many arguments favouring the presence of it and against this
idea, this
essay will examine both points of view.
Firstly
, looking into how the school
system works, it is obvious that competition has a central and big role in it, throught the grading system and the way of testing knowledge. Estabilishing the value of kids using only a number or a letter is, without a doubt, leading them to judge eachother only by that. For instance
, it is a widely spread habit of teachers to say out loud the grades of a assignment, leading students to insults and discriminations towards who did not very well. Furthermore
, tests only verify knowledge in the same way for every participants, preventing each personality to stand out for itself. The reason of that is
to be found in the existence of different types of intelligence, such
as the social or musical one, that are not tested in this
system.
On the other hand
, creating challenges and difficulties to overcome will, of course, be a tool to inspire more young generations. Moreover
, the comparison that is
formed in a class leads to the inspiration of childrens to try their best to achieve higher goals, to always improve themselves. For example
, imagine being in a group project with someone who is far more involved in school
and knows the argument selected in a meticulous way, this
is the best opportunity for you to learn from him, becoming a better version of you with the goal to overtake that classmate. In addition
, the presence of student loans or prizes destinated to the person with the highest score achieved, makes pop out smart individuals, who study all day long to reach that result.
In conclusion, I think that competition should be part of school
, obviously not in a predominant amount, because it prepares young kids to the challenges and obstacles they will find throught their life.Submitted by matilderestelli.work on
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language
Avoid using expressions like "without a doubt," which can seem too strong and decrease objectivity. Instead, present evidence or reasoning to support your point.
task achievement
Specific examples can enhance your arguments. Providing examples of schools that have successfully balanced competition and mental well-being could strengthen your essay.
task achievement
The introduction sets the stage clearly for discussing both viewpoints, demonstrating an understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Each viewpoint is presented with clarity and logical flow, showing a good structure in the essay body.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes effectively, summarizing the writer's opinion and linking it back to the main discussion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?