IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extend do you agree on disagree?

#people #prison #sentences #criminals #education #job
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A small portion of society believes that alternative penalties,
such
Linking Words
 as professional training or community work, other prison sentences, should be applied to criminals. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement depending on the
offence
Use synonyms
 types. Sociologists and some lawmakers have been alerting the tendency of the prison population increase, especially in countries
such
Linking Words
 as the US, Brazil and Mexico. In those nations, it is
also
Linking Words
 witnessed an unequal proportion of black prisoners when compared to other races, and most of them composed of uneducated young men, in their mid-20s. Specialists
also
Linking Words
 report that when they dig deeper into the causes that led those men to jail, they realize that the majority of the accusations could be classified as a misdemeanour (e.g. alcoholism
offence
Use synonyms
, small weed possession), and the prison penalty is disproportionately severe.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are those who think that no matter the
offence
Use synonyms
 someone commits, if he/she breaks the law, the price should be paid even though jails are overpopulated, and both minor
offence
Use synonyms
 prisoners are put together with high-level criminals. Experts say,
however
Linking Words
, that
this
Linking Words
 statement
also
Linking Words
 brings to light another relevant aspect: the possibility of these small offenders being inserted into criminal networks, especially in developing countries where the authorities have less or no control over prisons. All in all, I believe that updates to our law should be considered since the exposure of misdemeanour prisoners to gang leaders or chief of militias may reinforce those organizations. Alternative penalties come as an educational solution as well as help their reinsertion into society.
Submitted by hahaha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: