Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society

It is argued by some that both society and individuals are heavily

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

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by social platforms, and that effect is a negative one.

This

essay completely agrees with

this

statement, mainly because it can potentially reduce the amount of physical activity that

people

regularly perform and due to the danger involved in online shaming.

Firstly

, spending too much time on social networking

sites

could lead to a decrease in the amount of physical activity. Individuals can become addicted to social platforms

such

as Facebook or Youtube and as a consequence to spend the majority of their spare time on the computer or smartphone rather than go

runnig

Correct your spelling

running

or performing other types of sports activity.

This

trend could lead to obesity and numerous health conditions.

For example

, since my wife has downloaded the Instagram application to her phone, the number of times she goes out to run have been significantly reduced.

Furthermore

, social networking

sites

might have an adverse effect on children’s self-esteem due to online shaming.

This

is simply because there is currently not enough regulation on what

people

post on various

sites

and certain posts can be substantially harmful.

For instance

last

year, one of my son’s friends tried to kill himself following a false

rumor

Change the spelling

rumour

show examples

regarding his sexual

identitiy

Correct your spelling

identity

, which was published on one of the most popular social platforms. In conclusion, I strongly believe that networking

sites

convey a negative impact on

people

and on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society as a whole, due to the fact it can reduce the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of sports that

people

do and

therefore

to negatively affect their health, and

also

because online shaming can lead to serious confidence problems among children.

Submitted by nimrod.dar on Wed Apr 28 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Accurate linking words

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Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

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Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Your opinion

While choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

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