IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think it is more important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #time #career #friends
Most
people
 believe that
people
 should utilize their
time
 to improve the future with success wheres some argued that they should give more
time
 to friend and family than focusing on
career
.I do not deny that
people
 should not spend
time
 with loved ones, but giving attention to a successful
career
 is
also
 important. The world has become more challenging than it used to be so
as a result
 nowadays it requires more day to have a successful
career
.sometimes one can miss golden chance from millisecond,
for instance
, you are preparing for an entrance exam to get admission to the reputed university and because of family function you did not perform on well in your exam would slow down your progress.
Secondly
, a successful
career
 means a profession that you love and
also
 a good amount of money which will give you all facilities that you ever want in life. The life with successful achievement needs to quality of
time
. on the other side,some argued that the young generation does not have enough
time
 for their family and friends as they are busy building a quality
career
.To get successful life some
people
 need to travel internationally for either
further
 study or work where they do not get enough
time
 to have a meaningful conversation,
moreover
 some
people
 changed their attitude towards their family and friends when they are becoming a successful person and showing the power of money to their relatives.
For instance
,one who is earning more in the whole family can control overall member. To summarise,
people
 should contribute their
time
 to making a better future by staying with their family and colleagues.
people
 should
also
 maintain their attitude with the achievement they are getting.
Submitted by hena on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: