IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

#people #innovations
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Technology
Use synonyms
 is developing at a fast pace. Despite the fact that modern
technology
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 has created environmental and social problems, I believe that the convenience and even the safety it has brought to human
lives
Use synonyms
 far outweigh its disadvantages. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate on my view. On the one hand, the
ever developing
Add a hyphen
ever-developing
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 / advancing
technology
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 is beneficial to us.
Firstly
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, no other
technology
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 has had
such
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 a great impact on human
lives
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than
Change preposition
as
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 the internet which is believed to have revolutionized our
lives
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.
For instance
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, people can now purchase goods with a few taps on their mobile screen. The process is made fast and efficient by eliminating the time used in travelling to physical shops.
Likewise
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, innovations in transportation
technology
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 have made distances irrelevant. People can now travel anywhere in the world. Actually, mankind is now busy preparing for space travel and colonization. Advancements in the medical field have saved countless
lives
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. Vaccines,
for example
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, are a miracle of science that saved millions of children from the clutches of life.
On the other hand
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, the demerits of modern inventions can be many.
Firstly
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, the rapid development of
technology
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 has created pollution and is devastating to biodiversity. To illustrate, urban encroachment and the daily operation of factories worldwide have damaged the habitats of hundreds and thousands of animals. Scientists worldwide have warned that
further
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 destruction
to
Change preposition
of
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 biodiversity is harmful to human beings as it will expose us to insufficient food, medicine and water supply in the near future.
Secondly
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, the invention of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and computers is addictive. When people spend more time glued to their screens, they have less time left for face to face interactions.
Social
Add an article
The social
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 relationship
thus
Linking Words
 is hampered. To conclude, technological innovations certainly have some downsides;
however
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, it is preposterous to claim that innovations have more demerits than merits.
Submitted by hena on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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