IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are oving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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At present, economically difficult communities in remote areas migrate to urban areas in many nations,
hence
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, the number of people residing in villages is dropping.
This
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 essay will examine negativities
such
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 as environmental pollution and job scarcity in big cities,
therefore
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, In my point of view, I believe it is a negative growth. To commence with, the most important factor is the damage which happens to the nature of the metropolitan areas with the increasing number of residents. Because when the population get boosted up more accomodations are built without proper sanitation facilities.
For example
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, the Kelani River which is located in the capital city of Sri Lanka has been polluted from the garbage disposed of
the
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by the
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 people who have moved from villages that have constructed temporary houses. Waterways are
hence
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 contaminated by
such
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 inhabitants from the countryside resulting
a
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in a
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negative growth in the nature of the cities.
Moreover
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, overcrowding of villagers can result in a lack of job opportunities
hence
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 making residents financially unstable . Living in a big city is costly compared to their living expenses in a rural area. If these families become jobless
due to
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this
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 phenomenon, it will be a huge destruction. Take New Delhi in India as an example, it attracts many remote individuals
due to
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 its popularity for better salaries. Having said that, today New Delhi is facing a huge crisis because of the increased number of unemployed citizens.
Thus
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 loss of career options
due to
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 overcrowding might cause an economic crisis. In conclusion,negativities like environmental contamination
such
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 as water pollution and scarcity of jobs can result in consequences of the migration of countryside residents to cities. In my opinion,
therefore
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, it has become a negative growth.

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Task Achievement
Your essay offers a clear position on the topic, and you present relevant ideas and examples. Nevertheless, it is essential to develop your ideas further and ensure they fully respond to the task requirements. Aim to include more comprehensive explanations and consider exploring both the positive and negative consequences of rural to urban migration to provide a more balanced perspective, unless you are explicitly asked to focus on one side only.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have structured your essay into clear paragraphs, which aids readability and coherence. However, work on strengthening the logical flow between your ideas. Use a wider range of linking devices to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This can help in achieving a more cohesive and logically structured essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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