IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays the ways people interact with each other has changed because of technology.In what ways technologies affected the types of relationships people make.Has this become a positive or negative development.

#people #technology #technologies #relationships #become #development
Fast face
technology
 brings peoples closer to another part of the world, by means of social application
such
 as
imessage
Correct your spelling
iMessage
, Facebook and Twitter, it brings smiles to person because they use
this
 as a way of communication with their family and friends.In my ,view
this
 is a positive development in our society.In
this
 ,essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain what are ways to communicate using
technology
 and how
this
 trend has huge development.
to begin
 with, people today has big advantages over a person living in the past.It is nearly the 20th century when
this
technology
 started.The only communication used in the past was sending mail and poster, that takes a month before they received the mail,
however
 in today's generation, people can use Facebook,
twitter
Change the capitalization
Twitter
show examples
, Instagram and even facetime to connect with their love-one By using
this
 kind of
technology
, communication is easy as well as economical. High tech gadgets
such
 as iPhone, tablet and laptop have a great impact on our society.It makes people easily connected to their friends and makes more new acquaintance all over the world.It brings happiness and more closeness to another person Another reason why
this
 machinery has a good improvement is when times of emergency, young generation now can call their parents if they need help and easily give the proper attention that might be needed, as a ,
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
 it can save a life because of early response to emergencies.Many
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
 now are more relax and have a sense of satisfaction because of
this
 high
technology
 in transmission. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 using high
technology
 as one method of connection has surely created a positive development in our nation.
Submitted by salenatorres on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: