Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

#people #career #path #lives #life

Setting a professional goal at

the

Correct article usage

show examples

very young age would provide

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right direction in people's

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

and I agree with

this

statement. Apart from

this

, having a supportive and stable working environment is

also

necessary to keep a worker happy.

This

essay shall support my view.provide point to

To begin

with, when a child set a plan for his future

job

, could assist to attain his goal without

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

hurdles. They could start preparing for competitive exams and take extra assistance wherever he requires ,eventually, they would achieve their goal and get

satisfaction

when a dream comes true.

For instance

, it has been noted that many coaching centres

aretrain

Correct your spelling

train

retrain

are train

the younger generation to build lucrative professions

such

as doctors, scientist,

techears

Correct your spelling

teachers

and soldiers.

Therefore

, the early start, usually, directs children to get a

job

they require and brings happiness. In order to get even more

job

satisfaction

firstly

, it is extremely important to have a supportive working environment. The staff would be offered

in- service

Correct your spelling

in-service

show examples

education to enhance their skills and ability,

additionally

, appreciated their work by offering incentives and promotion.

Similarly

, having a

work- life

Add a hyphen

work-life

show examples

balance

also

crucial to feel content about the

job

and

this

can be achieved by working a 6 hour profession and no call or email out of working hours.

For example

, many high profile professionals often experience either depression or anxiety due to the lack of motivation and

job

satisfaction

from their dream

job

. For

this

, they are frequently supported to grow both professionally and personally. In conclusion,

although

focusing on the career goal at

the

Correct article usage

show examples

very young age and achieving it can make a person happy,

job

satisfaction

can be increased even

further

by having

Remove the article

apply

show examples

supportive management and colleagues.

Submitted by Sal on Sat May 01 2021

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why it might be the case? What could be the disadvantages if being self-employed?

in many countries the law says that youngster must attend school or college until they become 18 what are advantages or disadvantages.

Its important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?