wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Happiness comes from different sources. Some

individuals

Use synonyms

concur that having a sheer abundance of wealth does not ensure eternal bliss. I totally agree with the above statement. Having tons of

money

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however

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, can make someone feel elated in some ways.

For instance

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, people have the capacity to buy luxurious things like cars, houses, and branded clothes. These could bring them joy and excitement.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

does not guarantee long-lasting happiness.

Moreover

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individuals

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can be happy depending on what they value in life

such

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as family, kindness, peace and camaraderie.

Individuals

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who barely make ends meet can still be happy because of the love and kindness of the people that

sorrounds

Correct your spelling

surrounds

them.

This

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source of blissfulness is something that

money

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cannot buy,

hence

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, it must be treasured.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, not all affluent

individuals

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are blissful.

This

Linking Words

is primarily because

money

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is not everything. To exemplify, a wealthy businessman, who makes

money

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hand over fist but living alone, can still feel emptiness despite having all the grandiose possessions in life.

This

Linking Words

is because he does not have any family to dine with him during meals and no one to share with how his day was.

Thus

Linking Words

, making him feel poorer than the poorest.

In addition

Linking Words

money

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can be the root of family or sibling rivalry that divides them rather than unites them. An example of

this

Linking Words

is when a member of the family become successful, jealousy arises. It is,

therefore

Linking Words

, creates a wall between siblings and families. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

being financially well-off can provide a temporary joy, I am of the belief that genuine happiness comes beyond any tremendous amount of

money

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like having a complete family

that is

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healthy and friends who treat you like family.

Submitted by Rachelle Rotcaf on Sat May 01 2021

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many cities an increaing number of people do not knowtheir neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time.