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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It Is Sometimes Said That People Should Be Encouraged To Get Married Before They Turn 30

#people
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Some people believe that humans should be supported to get married before 30 because it is mutually beneficial to society in general and to the persons themselves.
However
,
this
 essay disagrees with
such
 point of view and,
firstly
, provides divorce rates among modern couples and
then
 explains that the improved medicine refuses
such
 a limitation as childbirth only before 30.
First
, until
recent
Replace the word
recently
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, in Russia, it used to be almost mandatory to get married shortly after graduation. A lot of the youth followed
this
 rule.
However
, after the
first
 3 years of living together, 7 out of 10 couples got divorced because of their different outlooks and purposes for
further
 life.
Such
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 number of divorces can not be of advantage either to society or individuals. Because of the increased number of broken couples, it will be required from the government
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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spend extra money on allowances to support single-parent families.
Second
, with the development of medicine, getting married and
to bear
Change the verb form
bearing
show examples
 children before 30 is not actual anymore. It is already an average case when children are born by women over 35. The majority of persons over 30 have good jobs and financial stability. Because of their social maturity, they have realistic and serious plans for the future.
Therefore
,
instead
 of stimulating young humans to rush to get married,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 should concentrate more on the people’s education and bringing up members of a better generation with deep respect to the cult of family. In conclusion,
this
 essay disagrees with the idea that encouraging people to get married before 30 will create any advantages and,
moreover
, supports the opposite idea of getting married in humans’
Change the article
the mid
show examples
mid 30s
Add a hyphen
mid-30s
show examples
.
Submitted by red-sonya5 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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