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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Despite the increased access to education a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages and what action should the government take

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Nowadays, most
people
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 have access to
education
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 as it has been developed over the decades globally.
Nevertheless
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, a significant number of
people
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 cannot read or write due to the inadequate facility of
education
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the disadvantages and actions the
government
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 should implement to increase
literacy
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. Despite the increased access to
education
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, most
children
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 do not want to complete their kindergarten
education
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, and some parents do not force or no interest in that.
Also
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, parents do not have adequate money to put their
children
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 in kindergarten.
Moreover
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, the lack of mentors has significant effects on
children
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’s
education
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 because
children
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 in remote areas cannot have proper instruction, which will cause some terrible future;
for example
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, they cannot read important notice, news, books, and cannot write at least name and address.
Furthermore
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, the most significant disadvantage is some
children
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 will move to criminal activities,
such
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 as drug dealing, child trafficking, and trying to extort money from the
people
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 as they cannot earn money from
education
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.
Conversely
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, the
government
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 should implement some concrete rules about child
education
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 though they have some disabilities.
Firstly
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, the
government
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 should offer free
education
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 for all the kindergarten because all the
children
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 will learn the primary
education
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.
Also
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, should develop the schools in all the places including remote areas, which can cover the whole
children
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’s
literacy
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. Remarkably, the
government
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 should give more priority to disable
people
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 and need to build special schools and hostels to improve their
literacy
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.
Consequently
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,
education
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 is an essential tool for all
people
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 because, without good
literacy
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, it is exceedingly difficult to find a white
color
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colour
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 job and expose it to society.
Therefore
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, the
government
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 should give more concern about
children
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’s
literacy
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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