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There is a popular view that advertising encourages everyone to want the same things in life, and to believe that we need these things in order to be happy. To what extent do you agree?

#life
In recent years, advertisements have succeeded in encouraging
people
 to purchase certain
products
, e.g. houses and cars and believe
these possession
Change the determiner
this possession
show examples
 would lead to profound
happiness
 in their life.
However
, I disagree to a certain extent with
this
 view because some
people
 seek their own
happiness
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
 these
products
.
To begin
 with, commercials can enormously contribute to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of
people
 buying the same
products
.
This
 can especially be seen in children who ask their parents to buy
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 toys that are introduced on TV shows.
Also
, these items
such
 as video games would be critical in their school life where they communicate with other pupils over
this
 topic.
Furthermore
, as
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adults, they have been working hard and saving money for purchasing their own houses or cars, which are often said as certain goals for them to achieve;
this
 encourages them to feel content with their lives. Some
people
,
however
, can find out what they really need and want in their lives under the pressure
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our society. From their own point of views and values, they can choose different things from what the other
people
 purchase regardless of famous commercials as they know what are their goals for
happiness
.
In addition
, there are those who do not find certain
products
, which
people
 can buy, valuable; life experiences including travels and connections with loved ones would come
first
 for them compared to the purchase of commercial
products
. In conclusion, while some
people
 pursue their
happiness
 by purchasing the same
products
 that other
people
 want through advertisements, others have different values.
Submitted by puffindog101 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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