IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #musicians #poets #waste #money
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There
is
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are
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 different views about the effectiveness of financial protection of
art
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 workers by
governments
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 to opposed seeming it a waste of
money
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. In my idea ,
this
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 kind of help for
artists
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 is not important . In the following essay , both of the views will be discussed . The power full reason for
this
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 belief that
financial
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financially
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 helps for actors is not necessary would be the fact that there are many issues in countries which solving them is essential rather than protection of
art
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 workers .
Fore
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For
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 instance , people in many societies suffer from
airpollution
Correct your spelling
air pollution
 or poverty and apparently , spending
money
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 on decreasing these matters will be more vital than spending
money
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 on composers , musicians and
artists
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 . So , if
governments
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 are supportive to reduce public issues
instead
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 of financial support to
artists
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 , it will be higher beneficial in societies . Preserving cultural
inheritance
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 would be the reason for having a positive view about
Correct article usage
the
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financial protection of poets or
well known
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well-known
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 people who do activities in the
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art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
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 .
More over
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Moreover
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 , cultural
inheritance
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 has been inhabited by our past generation which plays a key role in
identity
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the identity
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 of societies .
Linking Words
Further more
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Furthermore
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 ,
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art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
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 are involved
of
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in
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this
Linking Words
inheritance
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 .
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
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 example , traditional
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
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, movies , composed indicate a country's culture . There fore , If
governments
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 do investments
for
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in
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artists
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 , our historical
inheritance
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 will be kept . In conclusion ,in my opinion , despite the fact that if
governments
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 fund to
art
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 players or poet, it will be profitable to
keeping
Change the form of the verb
keep
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 our culture , it would be a waste of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 because of observing some
dreadfull
Correct your spelling
dreadful
 issues in countries that investment for them would be more reasonable and even if
governments
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 protected to decreased vital problems in public
instead
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 of spending
money
Use synonyms
 on actors , people satisfaction would be increased .
Submitted by z.noori347 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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