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Band 5

Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #musicians #poets #waste #money
There
is
Change the verb form
are
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 different views about the effectiveness of financial protection of
art
 workers by
governments
 to opposed seeming it a waste of
money
. In my idea ,
this
 kind of help for
artists
 is not important . In the following essay , both of the views will be discussed . The power full reason for
this
 belief that
financial
Change the adjective
financially
show examples
 helps for actors is not necessary would be the fact that there are many issues in countries which solving them is essential rather than protection of
art
 workers .
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
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 instance , people in many societies suffer from
airpollution
Correct your spelling
air pollution
 or poverty and apparently , spending
money
 on decreasing these matters will be more vital than spending
money
 on composers , musicians and
artists
 . So , if
governments
 are supportive to reduce public issues
instead
 of financial support to
artists
 , it will be higher beneficial in societies . Preserving cultural
inheritance
 would be the reason for having a positive view about
Correct article usage
the
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financial protection of poets or
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 people who do activities in the
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
 .
More over
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Moreover
show examples
 , cultural
inheritance
 has been inhabited by our past generation which plays a key role in
identity
Add an article
the identity
show examples
 of societies .
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
 ,
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
 are involved
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
inheritance
 .
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example , traditional
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
, movies , composed indicate a country's culture . There fore , If
governments
 do investments
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
artists
 , our historical
inheritance
 will be kept . In conclusion ,in my opinion , despite the fact that if
governments
 fund to
art
 players or poet, it will be profitable to
keeping
Change the form of the verb
keep
show examples
 our culture , it would be a waste of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 because of observing some
dreadfull
Correct your spelling
dreadful
 issues in countries that investment for them would be more reasonable and even if
governments
 protected to decreased vital problems in public
instead
 of spending
money
 on actors , people satisfaction would be increased .
Submitted by z.noori347 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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