IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that public health will improve in the future. Others disagree. What is your opinion?

#people #health #future
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While some think that
people
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 will become more
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health conscious
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health-conscious
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 in the
future
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, others do not agree with them. From my point of view, the former group offers more cogent reasons, as we will discuss now. There are those who subscribe to the view that public wellbeing will enhance in the coming years, myself included. They believe that as cities are developing, more
sport
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sports
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 facilities are bound to be provided for
people
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. In
this
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 case, individuals have more opportunities to do more physical activities. Meaning that
,
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apply
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 the more they do exercises, the better
health
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 condition they may have, which is synonymous with increasing more healthy
people
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 in the communities.
In addition
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, with the advancement in technology and
wide spread
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widespread
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 use of the internet,
people
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 would have easy access to a wide range of information regarding
health
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 issues and related topics, which can help them to broaden their knowledge in
this
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 regard.
As a result
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, they are more likely to become familiar with a balanced eating diet and make it extremely nutritious.
This
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 would undoubtedly lead to a healthier lifestyle in society.
However
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, it is claimed by some that, as
people
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 may prefer to choose a sedentary lifestyle, it is less likely to improve their
health
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 in the
future
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. Since
people
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 become interested in remote working and homeschooling, they spend most of their time at home without any physical activities, in comparison to the time that they walk or cycle to their workplaces or schools. The less they decrease their daily routine activities, the more they may suffer from diseases
such
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 as obesity.
This
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 may result in some
health
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 problems
such
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 as diabetes or blood pressure in a near
future
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. In conclusion, even though some consider that
people
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 won't adopt a healthy lifestyle in the
future
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, I
reasonable
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reasonably
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believe
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belief
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 that they will become more conscious about their
health
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 , because of the knowledge that
are
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is
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 able to gain through social platforms and the more
health
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centers
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centres
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, which may be created for them.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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