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Band 5.5

Some people believe that public health will improve in the future. Others disagree. What is your opinion?

#people #health #future
While some think that
people
 will become more
health conscious
Add a hyphen
health-conscious
show examples
 in the
future
, others do not agree with them. From my point of view, the former group offers more cogent reasons, as we will discuss now. There are those who subscribe to the view that public wellbeing will enhance in the coming years, myself included. They believe that as cities are developing, more
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 facilities are bound to be provided for
people
. In
this
 case, individuals have more opportunities to do more physical activities. Meaning that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the more they do exercises, the better
health
 condition they may have, which is synonymous with increasing more healthy
people
 in the communities.
In addition
, with the advancement in technology and
wide spread
Correct your spelling
widespread
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 use of the internet,
people
 would have easy access to a wide range of information regarding
health
 issues and related topics, which can help them to broaden their knowledge in
this
 regard.
As a result
, they are more likely to become familiar with a balanced eating diet and make it extremely nutritious.
This
 would undoubtedly lead to a healthier lifestyle in society.
However
, it is claimed by some that, as
people
 may prefer to choose a sedentary lifestyle, it is less likely to improve their
health
 in the
future
. Since
people
 become interested in remote working and homeschooling, they spend most of their time at home without any physical activities, in comparison to the time that they walk or cycle to their workplaces or schools. The less they decrease their daily routine activities, the more they may suffer from diseases
such
 as obesity.
This
 may result in some
health
 problems
such
 as diabetes or blood pressure in a near
future
. In conclusion, even though some consider that
people
 won't adopt a healthy lifestyle in the
future
, I
reasonable
Replace the word
reasonably
show examples
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that they will become more conscious about their
health
 , because of the knowledge that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 able to gain through social platforms and the more
health
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, which may be created for them.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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