In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

An improved quality of life has resulted in the rising population of the older generation.

This

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essay will argue that the benefits of

this

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outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first illustrate how it may disadvantage the authorities' fiscal budget, followed by an analysis that the existence of senior citizens brings more advantages as they can spend more time with their families and share their experiences with the younger people. The main reason why the rise of the ageing population may put pressure on the government is because it requires more financial assistance in order to support the elders' basic needs.

In other words

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, there are more funds needed for monthly incentives and the establishment of senior-friendly infrastructures. They

also

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can not make substantial contributions to the economy as most of them are no longer part of productive age groups.

For example

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, a renowned country with significant numbers of old people, Japan, has to allocate more budget to address their needs,

instead

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, it could have been spent on other national priorities like building projects.

On the other hand

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, those opposed to the former idea say that

such

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a phenomenon allows them to spend more time with loved ones and share their insights with the younger generation.

This

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way, they could witness more milestones achieved by their children and grandchildren.

In addition

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, elders

also

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tend to have more expertise and experiences that we may not have so their insights could be beneficial for us to address life problems.

For example

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, our grandparents have been through so many crises,

such

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as world war and financial turmoil. In

this

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case, younger citizens can reap lessons from their experiences

while

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surviving those hard times.

This

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could serve as an important value that may be helpful for us if

such

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an event ever occurs in the future.

To conclude

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, lifelong senior citizens could bring more emotional and intangible benefits even though the officials should spare more money to build a more inclusive society. It clearly shows that the advantages of

such

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a phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages of pressured authorities'

budget

Fix the agreement mistake

budgets

show examples

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects well to the topic.

task achievement

Use more examples to support your points and increase their clarity.

task achievement

Try to expand your arguments a bit more to show deeper understanding.

task achievement

Good introduction outlining the main argument clearly.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view of both the challenges and benefits of an ageing population.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Ageing population
Pension systems
Healthcare demand
Workforce demographics
Life expectancy
Economic productivity
Intergenerational relationships
Cultural heritage
Social services
Government spending
Skills gap
Public services
Cultural enrichment
Seniority advantage
Elder care
Demographic shift

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Your opinion

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will soon be no role for the teachers in classrooms. What extent do you agree or disagree

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As cyber-perpetration is becoming a main online problem, social media and technological companies should be obligated by government to launch strict policy(ies) against cyber-bullying. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

(PTV)Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?