IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

SOME PEOPLE ARGUE THAT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO HAVE AN ENJOYABLE JOB THAN TO EARN A LOT OF MONEY. OTHERS DISAGREE AND THINK THAT A GOOD SALARY LEADS TO A BETTER LIFE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#people #job #money #salary #life
Nowadays, there are some
people
 that usually argue about what is truly important for our
life
. In fact, some
people
 believe that it is important to have an enjoyable job compared to earn a lot of money.
On the contrary
, there are obviously
people
 that prefer a good salary despite their working environment is not good for their
life
. In
this
 essay, I discuss both opinions, and
finally
, I would state my own opinion regarding the matter. On the one hand, it is obvious to underline that a good salary,
also
 in bad working conditions, allow
people
 to reach a lifestyle that could motivate them to carry out
also
 jobs that they really do not like.
Moreover
, it is noticed that a career
life
 with high salaries is recognized in
people
 that usually have a great personality, with some intelligent skills.
On the other hand
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
people
 that prefer to have an enjoyable job because they realize that a bad working environment could cause mind and mood disease. In fact, from a medical point of view,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
usually
people
 that follow better salaries have some responsibilities and for these ,reasons their stress surely increased.
Therefore
, they could reach depression or anxiety states.
In addition
, according to Italian Researchers, in a working situation,situations there is more and more managers, CEO and administrators that unfortunately know depression. To conclude, it is true that good salaries create amazing lifestyle opportunity. But in my opinion, I think that earn high money is not the only goal of our
life
, happiness, free time for fun, stay with your family are values most important.
Submitted by lorenzomonacourro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: