IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

SOME PEOPLE ARGUE THAT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO HAVE AN ENJOYABLE JOB THAN TO EARN A LOT OF MONEY. OTHERS DISAGREE AND THINK THAT A GOOD SALARY LEADS TO A BETTER LIFE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#people #job #money #salary #life
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Nowadays, there are some
people
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 that usually argue about what is truly important for our
life
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. In fact, some
people
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 believe that it is important to have an enjoyable job compared to earn a lot of money.
On the contrary
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, there are obviously
people
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 that prefer a good salary despite their working environment is not good for their
life
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. In
this
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 essay, I discuss both opinions, and
finally
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, I would state my own opinion regarding the matter. On the one hand, it is obvious to underline that a good salary,
also
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 in bad working conditions, allow
people
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 to reach a lifestyle that could motivate them to carry out
also
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 jobs that they really do not like.
Moreover
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, it is noticed that a career
life
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 with high salaries is recognized in
people
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 that usually have a great personality, with some intelligent skills.
On the other hand
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, there
is
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are
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people
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 that prefer to have an enjoyable job because they realize that a bad working environment could cause mind and mood disease. In fact, from a medical point of view,
,
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apply
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usually
people
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 that follow better salaries have some responsibilities and for these ,reasons their stress surely increased.
Therefore
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, they could reach depression or anxiety states.
In addition
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, according to Italian Researchers, in a working situation,situations there is more and more managers, CEO and administrators that unfortunately know depression. To conclude, it is true that good salaries create amazing lifestyle opportunity. But in my opinion, I think that earn high money is not the only goal of our
life
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, happiness, free time for fun, stay with your family are values most important.
Submitted by lorenzomonacourro on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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