IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

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In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 world, there are a lot of problems and one of the most severe ones might be an increase in the number of crime. Categories of offences vary from serious ones
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as murder to minor ones including a snatch. In the following essay, I would state that the causes might be a problematic circumstance of society and the solution would be a support for the individuals.
First
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of all, the cause of misdeed would be different in the distinct types of it.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the reason why people steal products may be poverty. When they are about to starve, they might be in a situation that they cannot survive without acting illegally.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a killing often occurs when the murderer is depressed or has
rebellious
Correct article usage
a rebellious

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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 spirit toward society. To sum up, crimes typically occur because of the unfavourable situation.
Second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of all, the way of tackling the problem would be mental and financial care of the individuals. Since the reason
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Correct article usage
the offenses

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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offenses
Change the spelling
offences

The spelling of offenses is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 is mainly some kinds of lack of satisfaction
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the environment that they are in, to help them by welfare or mental health
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling

The spelling of counseling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 would be significant to solve the problem. To do so,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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support from not only the government but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 private institutions would be crucial. In my conclusion, I believe that the cause of misdeed is the problematic situation that the individuals
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject the individuals. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 been in.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the way of dealing with it might be to help the persons who are dissatisfied with their circumstances.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
What to do next:
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