IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#safety #roads #punishments #offences
It is argued that the government should introduce harsh punishments for rule-breakers in order to boost safety on the
roads
. In my opinion, higher authorities should plan a proper method in which they aware of the public about rule and regulations so that they can avoid life-threatening incidents on
roads
.
To begin
 with, proper knowledge of driving rules. One of the best methods is government should issue a
licence
 which is valid only for a year. As a ,
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
 each individual has to go through the driver knowledge test and driving test which help them update their information skills and latest rules.
Therefore
, fewer
accidents
 on the
roads
 as people will drive carefully.
In addition
 to
this
, proper infrastructure
such
 as
roads
 , traffic lights will help in avoiding miss happening on the
roads
 because every individual is in hurry due to pressure in professional as well as in personal life.To overcome that, they drive every fast which result in
accidents
 and fatalities on the
roads
. For instances, in , India due to a lack of facilities people do not follow the rule and regulations which leads to the highest categories of death.
Furthermore
, Increase the age for issuing the driving
licence
. In some countries, the individuals hold the
licence
 at a very early age like in India, Australia, Canada, China the regime of the country should set
Correct article usage
a
show examples
maximum age bar so that the driver can differentiate between right and wrong. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
teenagers drink alcohol while driving and
then
 drive at high speed as a part of
enjoyment
Add an article
the enjoyment
show examples
 and a number of individuals think that wearing a seat belt is a burden on their body which leads to
accidents
. The only effective method is punishing them in the form of money and suspension of driving
licence
. In conclusion,
although
 government should punish the offenders if the public of the nation does not have proper awareness about the regulations
then
 they are prone to
accidents
 as a human error.
Submitted by daisysharma0087 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: