IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #art #children #school #waste #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 have different opinions about whether
art
Use synonyms
 should be considered as a mandatory subject for the school curriculum. While some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
art
Use synonyms
 develops creativity in
children
Use synonyms
, others opine that teaching
art
Use synonyms
 is not useful.
Art
Use synonyms
 in the field of work stimulates ingenuity and inventiveness.
Art
Use synonyms
 helps in boosting
children
Use synonyms
’s creativity and imagination prowess. There are different disciplines of
art
Use synonyms
, like literature, music, painting, and dance. Little
children
Use synonyms
 do not have the linguistic capabilities to communicate;
art
Use synonyms
 acts as a medium for them to present their feeling. Many psychologists have stated that young
children
Use synonyms
 cannot communicate their feeling in words, but they can present their thoughts through their drawings or paintings.
Art
Use synonyms
 acts as a reflection of
children
Use synonyms
’s thoughts. Making
art
Use synonyms
 as a part of academic studies will help
children
Use synonyms
 to spend
time
Use synonyms
 and explore themselves in different fields.
By contrast
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that learning
art
Use synonyms
 is a complete waste of
time
Use synonyms
 because
art
Use synonyms
 is not a lucrative career option. There are few high-paying jobs in the
art
Use synonyms
 sector. At the same
time
Use synonyms
, there is a huge burden
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the academic syllabus, and
people
Use synonyms
 believe that introducing
art
Use synonyms
 as a subject will make
children
Use synonyms
 less focused on academic subjects.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to have a balance of both mainstream and
art
Use synonyms
 subjects so that
children
Use synonyms
 will have the
time
Use synonyms
 to explore all areas. In conclusion, having
art
Use synonyms
 as a subject in school will help them in exploring their inner creativity and imagination;
however
Linking Words
, it is equally important to have a balance between academic and
art
Use synonyms
 subjects. Want to improve your English Grammar? Get my book and avoid making the common mistakes that IELTS test takers usually make.
Submitted by choudarybilal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: