IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the goverment is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree?

#people #goverment #money #arts
It has been a
contraversial
Correct your spelling
controversial
argue
Replace the word
argument
show examples
 that the
governments
' investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the crafts whether a waste of
money
 or a necessary part of life.
Governments
 collect
money
 from their citizens in order to open some sort of facilities.I completely disagree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that the
governments
 should not invest
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 social skills
such
 as
arts
 and entertainments . In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 people are connected by artcrafts so without music,dance or painting can not exist.
In other words
,
arts
 are
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
medicine for humanity
also
 for
animal
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
.
For instance
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are treating
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cancer
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high strong medicine and
also
 music can decrease their pain and
treate
Correct your spelling
treat
treated
create
 them in a
natrul
Correct your spelling
natural
 way.
This
 is why the
governments
 should
also
 invest
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
arts
Change the noun form
art
show examples
 skills.
Furthermore
,investing
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 crafts can lead a place to make
an extra jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
an extra job
extra jobs
show examples
which can work many people there.
This
 would be possible to decrease the amount of unemployment.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 a dance team
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
encouraged by
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can show their performance in certain places.
Therefore
,more investment in other areas can give another chance for other people. In conclusion,there are works has to be done by
governments
this
is not only build
Change the verb form
does not only build
show examples
 some facilities
such
 as hospitals and schools
also
 should leave a piece of pie from the whole to encourage
arts
.
Submitted by cmnr3134 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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