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Band 7.5

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #world #governments #focus #countries
The number of poor
people
 around the world is constantly on the rise these days. Some
people
 attach that the
government
 ought to concern about their
citizens
 before others. From my point of view, I totally agree with
this
 viewpoint for many reasons, described in the following essay before the conclusion is reached. The principal reason that supports my view is that the
government
 could not handle all the problems in the world.
In other words
, there are a plethora of
citizens
 on
this
 planet who seek
for
Change preposition
apply
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help.
Thus
, the rescue process would be more efficient if the
government
 start from their own country. The covid-19 situation is a perfect example in
this
 case. As we can see in the present, every country has
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 policy to protect their
citizens
 from infection in order to solve the problem as fast as possible.
On the contrary
, if one
government
 try to help every person in the world altogether, the cross-infection would be out of control because it is a large scale of
people
.
However
, it is undeniable that in some countries, the
government
 do not have the ability to solve their own issues. Helping other countries are not a bad action if their
people
 are already safe.
For instance
, as I mentioned before, in the Covid-19 situation, the USA have the ability to produce the vaccine. After they rescue their own
citizens
, they
also
 distribute their vaccine to other countries. In conclusion,
although
 helping other individuals is a good thing to do, I personally believe that the rescue process ought to start from our own country before others.
Submitted by kewalee.eee on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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