IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

#people #countries #cars #first #time
People
 are starting to buy cars
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it's affordable and it's necessary. There are indeed various disadvantages of
this
 approach, which let us to
this
 essay, where we will talk about how can we resolve the problem coming with the fact, that more
people
 in wealthier countries buy automobiles. In the
first
 place, I would like to share the reasons, why more
people
 are investing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
 purchase these days. One of the motives is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to buy an acceptable vehicle these days, especially in developing countries, is more affordable than ever.
For instance
, an
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 person with an ordinary job can save money for a few years and
thereafter
 can be able to afford a nice
car
 model.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional
,
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 a vehicle is a necessity.
For example
, if a person has to travel 2 hours
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 train to get to work,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 buying a
car
 will save the person some time.
However
, the increasing number of
people
 investing in cars is leading to more environmental pollution. Especially in the big cities like New York or London
people
 can not go anywhere without a
car
, no matter if it is owned or borrowed, if it is a taxi or a public transport, because of the large distances.
As a result
, the air in those cities gets polluted, which affects the health of the whole country's nation. Not
concidentially
Correct your spelling
coincidentally
confidentially
, USA remains statistically the most polluted country in the world, because of its major towns and large roads. In conclusion, I can suggest a conceivable solution namely electric cars.
The electric
Correct article usage
Electric
show examples
 automobiles do not pollute the air, that we breathe, and are environmentally friendly. If they get cheaper, more
people
 would be able to afford them and
consequently
 buy them.
This
 kind of
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
implication would improve the quality of life in the different countries.
Submitted by plami98573 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: