Some people view giving presents as an important way to show care to family and friends. Others think there are more important things that can be done to show care and appreciation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #show #care #friends #appreciation

Factory farming is so popular

these day

Change the determiner

this day

these days

show examples

since

this

meets the increasing demands of food requirement.

However

, there are many people who think that

this

can have many repercussions on humans as well as the earth. I, personally, believe that

this

statement is true and I

support

Correct pronoun usage

itsupport

show examples

Firstly

, in intensive farming, a high level anti-biotic has been used, which can lead

antibiotic

Change preposition

to antibiotic

show examples

resistence

Correct your spelling

resistance

among micro-organisms. Eventually, the present, antibiotic treatments are ineffective for most of the superbugs.

For example

, in Europe in the early

1990’s

Fix apostrophe usage

1990s

show examples

due to the booming of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern farming methods, they used antibiotics in an uncontrolled manner, which resulted in superbug formation.

Therefore

, currently, they

follows

Change the verb form

show examples

strict policies regarding factory

faming

Correct your spelling

farming

to eliminate

further

damaging

Replace the word

damage

show examples

to humans.

Secondly

, animals are kept in

a cramped and unhygienic places

Correct the article-noun agreement

cramped and unhygienic places

a cramped and unhygienic place

show examples

, where animals are tortured.

Similarly

, to maximise the benefits , the genetic components of the animals were

also

manipulate. Since they required a huge amount

feed

Change preposition

of feed

show examples

, forests were razed to plant more feeds.

For instance

, to increasing egg, milk, meat production, goats, cows, hens and so on were modified.

This

the

Correct article usage

show examples

clear violation of animal rights and many people started to fight

against

Correct pronoun usage

itagainst

show examples

. By seeing, the scenarios,

this

navel technique has more negatives effects on our environment than any minor advantages it can bring. In conclusion, opinion on adapting bioengineering in animal production divides people into two groups. In my consideration, the farming methods have serious problems that harm the entire planet as

this

causes antibiotic

resistence

Correct your spelling

resistance

and deforestation widely.

Submitted by Sal on Wed May 12 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays it is common that international companies set up their business in developing countries and appointing local workers. Along with the benefit does it outweigh the drawbacks also?