Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination, but others think there are more important factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Certain individuals assume, that diligence and dedication can help to succeed,
however
, there are others, who believe that different crucial factors
can also
influence the achievements of people. I firmly support the previous notion of the given statement. Both views will be discussed in this
essay.
On the one hand, we can observe numerous circumstances, which led people to the top level aside from the
diligence in the work and Correct article usage
apply
the
determination. Correct article usage
apply
Because we
can not exclude Correct word choice
We
such
factors
like, to be at the right time and in the right place , which is called "fortune" and in the case of former USSR countries - the factor of high-powered relatives. For instance
, it can hardly be denied, that there are bright examples when certain kinds of entrepreneurs after the collapse of the Soviet Union had bought shares of enormous companies for low prices and in this
case, the appropriate moment of the
history had brought them significant benefits. Correct article usage
apply
As a consequence
, nowadays these businessmen are the most powerful and influential figures on the world stage.
On the other hand
, there is a well-known expression "no pain , no gain" , which means that without the consistency of attempts, a strong spirit and dedication, it is impossible to achieve success in life. The reason behind is
that the mentioned abilities are the fundamental parts of every victory in every area. To give an illustration, athletes reach their certain goals after hard training and they prepare themselves their whole life for the one day of the competition, which can be a considerable example of the mentioned idea. Correct pronoun usage
this is
Moreover
, the possibility of other factors
may not deny that hard work is the main point of success.
In conclusion, although
there are several factors
to gain the
achievement, hard work and determination are considered to be the most crucial components of prosperity.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by kassymov_99 on
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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states what the essay will discuss. The presented introduction could be improved by briefly mentioning the points that will be discussed, to give the reader a clearer understanding of the essay's structure.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the cohesion between ideas and paragraphs. This aids in achieving smoother transitions and a more structured argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. While you provided some illustrations, enriching your essay with more detailed instances or data could strengthen your argument and make your ideas more compelling.