Some people think that sports create peace in the world. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #sports #peace #world

Sports

is a game that needs cooperation and trust with each other. Many

people

believe that it brings harmony to the world. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on the agreement in

this

statement.

Firstly

, a human being is always fond of

sports

namely basketball, boxing and many more but not always ended up in peace.

For example

, many

people

love to watch basketball, especially during the championship. But because of the pressure of the game, players tend to hurt opponents which often lead to commotions between the teams.

Furthermore

, the other members have to defend each other which created an unstoppable fight despite many referees and security guards.

Also

, the operators have to stop the game in order to dismiss the fight.

Secondly

, despite the said circumstances,

sports

still fun to watch in the majority of

people

For example

, in the Philippines, boxing is the number one sport that creating peace in the country. The famous boxer who

also

a government official, everyone is steadily watching every time he has a boxing fight.

Moreover

, other local officials make tents and large screen for the community to be able to watch it together.

Also

, the road traffic and crime rates on that day are lessened due to

people

are supporting the famous boxer. If all countries will do

this

for instance

, it will create unity in the world. In conclusion, most

people

love

sports

even though it is not always ended up in harmony but some human still chooses to enjoy and supporting it to make a peaceful world.

Submitted by Nadz_nadz on Wed May 12 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fostering
unity
cross-cultural understanding
historical moments
political and cultural divides
nationalism
division
sports diplomacy
peacekeeping
diplomatic efforts
grassroots
community cohesion
prevent conflict

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