Given high unemployment rate, it is recommended that the government only provide primary education and no secondary education. What do you think?
It is considered that the increase in unemployment is
due to
the ministry that only gives primary education
and is not focussing on secondary education
. However
, I believe that both play a crucial role in gaining the job because it helps to groom the personality of individuals and make them choose their desired destinations. I will discuss my view in detail in this
essay below.
To begin
with, those who blame the government are responsible for the high rate of unemployment because they only take primary education
under consideration and do more work on it. It is the basic knowledge that everyone gets but is unable to tackle the practical problem that they come to know through secondary education
. At that age, they become more mature and learn new experiences of life through various subjects and learn how to spend their life in a better way. As in third-world countries because of a lack of focus on higher education
, there are a lot of problems in society.
Secondly
, I believe that higher education
is the one
that is
important to polish their skills
it is crucial because one
can come to know how to deal with various types of problems by maintaining personal skills
. Also
, to enhance their communication skills
they deal with various types of people belonging to a variety of sectors. It is a transition between the basic and the skills
they choose which play a significant role in their earning process as they go through a lot of interviews to secure their jobs hence
it is vital to have higher education
. For instance
, students who have only primary education
are not able to take admission to any medical college therefore
unable to pursue their medical career.
In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that primary education
is the primary role to go further
in their lives. So, instead
of only focusing on primary education
, it is necessary to bring secondary education
under consideration as it is the one
in which one
can select their career pathway.Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with specific examples and details. Your essay tends to make broad statements without delving deeply enough into examples that illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate the relationships between your ideas. Also, make sure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next, which will help to bring clarity to your argument.
task achievement
It's important that the essay addresses all parts of the prompt. Make sure to directly address the government's recommended change and provide a balanced argument, perhaps by considering the counter-argument, which would strengthen your task response score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.