14/02/13: Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People’s
attitude
towards job stability Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
is
different, with one school of thought holding that fresh job-seekers have the autonomy to decide on which Correct subject-verb agreement
are
career
path they would like to embark on, while
others are adamant that a more stable and pragmatic choice of employment is better for workers in the long run. This
essay will first closely scrutinize both views before showing my final thought.
On the one hand, those who say that job-seekers should be adventurous when it comes to career
choices often emphasize that it fosters enthusiasm and perfectionism in a person’s work
. By pursuing a line of work
that fits one’s true calling, individuals
will not only be willing to go above and beyond their call of duty, taking up more responsibilities in the workplace,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
aspire to complete the tasks flawlessly. However
, this
perspective overlooks the fact that although
stability and passion are not mutually exclusive in an individual’s career
, there exist occupations whose job market is fiercely competitive and have a low staff retention rate such
as singing or modeling
. That being the case, the pursuit of ambitions for its own sake would give rise to job-hopping, resulting in a superficial engagement with experiences, preventing Change the spelling
modelling
individuals
from benefiting from and appreciating each working situation.
On the other hand
, advocates of a career
devoid of uncertainty often cite the comfort and security it confers upon them. Familiarity in
doing the same job can help people reduce stress and anxiety, allowing them to focus on their established Change preposition
with
work
habits and goals. However
, this
aversion to change may lead to work
inertia, hindering personal growth and cause
Wrong verb form
causing
individuals
to miss out on valuable opportunities. Worse still, a rigid adherence to routines can make it difficult for a person to adapt to unexpected life events or novel circumstances, which can be problematic in today’s rapidly evolving world.
In light of the aforementioned considerations, I am convinced that being free to opt for a career
path should be welcomed but with a measured approach that takes into account potential unemployment risks. By carefully evaluating the possibility to
Change preposition
of furthering
further
a career
path on the basis of both certainty and passion, individuals
can make informed decisions and strike a balance between stability and personal growth.Submitted by nttung.182 on
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task achievement
While your essay presents well-developed arguments for both sides, consider adding more specific examples to support your points. This would help to make your arguments more concrete and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains logical structure and flows well from one point to the next. However, ensure each main point is fully elaborated with clear examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Excellent structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a well-rounded conclusion.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt and addresses both sides of the argument effectively.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a high level of clarity in expressing ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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