IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, the number of shootings increases because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#countries #shootings #increases #people #guns #home #support
Across the globe, a plethora of crimes increasing rapidly because these days most
of
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the
Correct article usage
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people
 have their own arms at
home
. I agree with the statement.
This
 essay will discuss its reason and suitable examples. in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, It becomes a trend among youth to have their own
weapons
.
Government
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The government
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 passed the law that anybody can have their own
weapons
. But It passes the law for
the
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security purpose. These days
people
 use
weapons
 for their entertainment purpose. They
also
 shot a person in a small quarrel.
Moreover
, having a gun at
home
 is
also
 dangerous for children. Minor do not know how to handle it safely.
For instance
, In a times news newspaper
last
 week a piece of news was 14 years old boy
got
Correct pronoun usage
who got
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 injured by a gun. He carried a gun for the photoshoot and shot himself. So it is
also
 the responsibility of parents to take it away from the minors.
On the other hand
, not only guns at
home
 increasing the crime rate but
also
 TV shows, games and many other activities are
also
 responsible for
this
. Nowadays there is a number of games on the internet which really affect badly
on
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an individual mind.
For instance
, In India, there is a game TUB G in which a person has many
weapons
 and kill the opposite
people
 and loot his house.
This
 really affects the minors badly. From
this
, they try to do it in real life and their consequences are really bad. To conclude. In my opinion, I reckon with the statement that guns at
home
 increase the crime rate. Government should make laws to provide guns only to the
people
 who really need
this
 for security purposes.
Submitted by Rajwinder Kaur on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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