There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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With
crime
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rates on the rise, many argue that strict measures should be implemented to maintain law and order.
While
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some advocate for the use of the
death
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penalty
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as a deterrent, others believe that alternative punishments are more appropriate. I am convinced that sentencing should be based on the severity of the
crime
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. Historically, the
death
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penalty
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was reserved for the most serious
offenses
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offences
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.
However
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, with increasing
crime
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rates, some believe it should be applied more broadly.
While
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capital punishment is ethically controversial, it can act as a strong deterrent, discouraging potential offenders from committing crimes.
Additionally
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, reducing the number of long-term prisoners would lessen the financial burden on the government, allowing funds to be redirected toward social development.
For instance
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, a 2010 study by Cambridge University examined the impact of the execution of a serial killer. Surveys conducted among convicted felons revealed that many would have reconsidered their actions had they known the
death
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penalty
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was a consequence.
On the other hand
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, capital punishment should not be imposed indiscriminately. Economic hardship has led many individuals to commit minor
offenses
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offences
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,
such
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as theft, out of desperation rather than malice. In
such
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cases, punishments should be proportionate to the severity of the
crime
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.
Furthermore
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, if the
death
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penalty
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were applied too broadly, individuals with no hope for the future might commit even more extreme
offenses
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offences
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, believing they have nothing left to lose.
For example
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, in 2003, a study conducted in Chiang Mai’s local prison found that the majority of inmates convicted of theft had done so out of an inability to provide for their children. In conclusion,
while
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the
death
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penalty
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may serve as a deterrent, it can
also
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contribute to
further
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criminal activity if misused.
Therefore
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, I believe that punishments should be determined based on the gravity of the
crime
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rather than applying capital punishment indiscriminately.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument with well-defined opinions on both sides. However, expanding on your reasoning for why you believe punishments should be severity-based would enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas, which would improve coherence.
task achievement
While the examples provided are relevant, adding one or two more specific instances or studies could help strengthen your argument and illustrate your points even better.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a strong structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which aids in comprehension.
task achievement
You've done well to discuss both sides of the argument in a balanced manner, which is essential for this type of essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • ethical considerations
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • community policing
  • public opinion
  • recidivism rates
  • community-driven initiatives
  • modern policing methods
  • death penalty
  • serious crimes
  • crime rates
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