Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

These days, An increasing of

people

who crazy about

sports

are one of the reasons why

athlete

are rich. Many

people

think that

sports

professionals

deserve to have an enormous salary since they can give

people

a happy, relaxed feeling. While other

people

who don’t like

sports

claim that it is unfair. From my point of view, I think it is acceptable.

Firstly

sports

professionals

spend a lot of time in daily life to practice. Some

athlete

spend time almost half of their life with practice every day for only one match

such

as the player in Olympic games have to practice a lot and some

athlete

has trained since they were young. Their success can draw

people

's attention from around the world after that they would receive enormous money or gifts from many fans, especial with Olympic athletes in each country are treated and got all of the love from the government and

people

in the country ,

However

some

athlete

who can't reach the goal because not everyone can get a chance for making a good reputation for themselves.

On the other hand

, I believe that in the other careers can earn as much as

sports

professionals

can, It depends on their effort,

such

as the Miss Universe is one of the most highly competitive

all

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

types of careers, Only the winner would receive a prize and got a reputation. as well as a doctor not only can earn money a lot

Change preposition

apply

show examples

each year but

also

a stable career. It might be better than a general

athlete

In conclusion, In my point of

view

Add a comma

,view

show examples

Successful athletics

professionals

should deserve a high salary.

Although

sports

professionals

are not the only career to make money

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

there are others who can make high income as well.

Submitted by perth22july on Fri May 14 2021

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Your opinion

Nowadays some professionals such as doctors, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries?

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree.

Although more and more people read the news on internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed beacuse of technology. In what ways has technology affected the tyoes of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?