Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

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These days, An increasing of

people

Use synonyms

who crazy about

sports

Use synonyms

are one of the reasons why

athlete

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are rich. Many

people

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think that

sports

Use synonyms

professionals

Use synonyms

deserve to have an enormous salary since they can give

people

Use synonyms

a happy, relaxed feeling. While other

people

Use synonyms

who don’t like

sports

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claim that it is unfair. From my point of view, I think it is acceptable.

Firstly

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

professionals

Use synonyms

spend a lot of time in daily life to practice. Some

athlete

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spend time almost half of their life with practice every day for only one match

such

Linking Words

as the player in Olympic games have to practice a lot and some

athlete

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has trained since they were young. Their success can draw

people

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's attention from around the world after that they would receive enormous money or gifts from many fans, especial with Olympic athletes in each country are treated and got all of the love from the government and

people

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in the country ,

However

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some

athlete

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who can't reach the goal because not everyone can get a chance for making a good reputation for themselves.

On the other hand

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, I believe that in the other careers can earn as much as

sports

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professionals

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can, It depends on their effort,

such

Linking Words

as the Miss Universe is one of the most highly competitive

all

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

types of careers, Only the winner would receive a prize and got a reputation. as well as a doctor not only can earn money a lot

Change preposition

apply

show examples

each year but

also

Linking Words

a stable career. It might be better than a general

athlete

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In conclusion, In my point of

view

Add a comma

,view

show examples

Successful athletics

professionals

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should deserve a high salary.

Although

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

professionals

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are not the only career to make money

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

there are others who can make high income as well.

Submitted by perth22july on Fri May 14 2021

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Your opinion

What is the most effective way to learn a second/foreign language?

These days many families move abroad for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally importantfor a country. Discuss both these views a d give your own opinion.

Things like puzzles, board games and pictures can contribute to a child’s development. What would you give a child to help him/her develop and why? Give details and examples in your explanation.