IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities
In
this
 day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the opinion that it is easier to have good
health
 in rural areas while other
people
 argue that there are a lot of advantages about
health
 when inhabitants settle down in
cities
. From my perspective, I subscribe to the former idea. On the one hand,
people
 living in the
countryside
 may have a healthy lifestyle by virtue of the following reasons.
Firstly
, many records prove that the atmosphere in rural areas
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 usually purer than the air in
cities
,
therefore
, residents settling down in the
countryside
 will be less likely to be prone to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
 diseases.
Secondly
, living in the
countryside
 will help
people
 avoid suffering from illnesses in terms of food poison.
This
 can be explained by the fact that they can supply safe food for themselves,
thus
, the food security issue in
this
 area is
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 definitely guaranteed.
For instance
,
instead
 of purchasing vegetables in the market,
countryside
 residents can grow them in their gardens, so they do not have
concern
Add an article
a concern
show examples
 about the vegetables’ safety.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that city dwellers may gain many
health
 benefits. To be more specific, when they are susceptible to life-threatening diseases
such
 as lung cancer or heart attacks, they will be treated in well-known hospitals specializing in treating these illnesses and the successful treatment’s possibility is high.
In addition
, in the case that
people
 want to improve their well-being, they can get access easily to all the amenity in their
cities
such
 as fitness
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 or swimming pools. In conclusion, with all the reasons mentioned above,
although
 settling down in
cities
 has huge
health
 benefits, I still strongly believe that it is better to have a healthy lifestyle in rural areas.
Submitted by trangslelaidalat on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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