Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

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Introduction

People think that

Use synonyms

strugle

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struggle

life

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teaches

lesson

Add an article

a lesson

show examples

for future

sucess

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success

. Some

belives

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believes

show examples

that a good amount of

money

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and

personality

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also

Linking Words

play an important in role to

achive

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achieve

archive

desire goals. I

disscussed

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discussed

both views in the below paragraphs.

Body paragraph 1

Some families have poor background due that they will

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strugle

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struggle

lot to earn their daily

livelyhood

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livelihood

For example

Linking Words

in slum areas, many

earns

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earn

show examples

money

Use synonyms

from garbage

colletion

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collection

and in return

yhey

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they

will get

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small

smaal

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a smaal

show examples

amount of

money

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which is not enough for their food. To

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overcome

show examples

over come

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overcome

show examples

theses

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these

show examples

types of

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Correct your spelling

struggle

strugle

Add a comma

,strugle

show examples

they do more work and get new

experince

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experience

experiences

. From past

lessons

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,lessons

show examples

they made

goood

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good

money

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for their bright future.

Body paragraph 2

However

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

many

show examples

may

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many

show examples

people are from

good

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the good

show examples

family background due that they will get good facilities like education, better living

strandars

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standards

. In India may business person child develop their father

bussiness

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business

and become

succeful

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successful

life

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. If we take

example

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the example

an example

show examples

of models they

belongs

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belong

show examples

poor

Correct article usage

a poor

show examples

family even they

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strugle

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struggle

lot

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a lot

show examples

for

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

life

Use synonyms

but their

personality

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makes

rich

Correct pronoun usage

them rich

show examples

Body paragraph 3

In my point of view

momey

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money

personality

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and hard work

plays

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play

show examples

an important

roles

Correct the article-noun agreement

role

show examples

in every

indiviual

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individual

life

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. From hard work teaches lessons

fro

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for

show examples

survival,

money

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helps to get moral support and

personality

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makes famous.

Conclusion

In conclusion, wealth,

Use synonyms

strugle

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struggle

and charm will give

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

life

Use synonyms

to an

indiviual

Correct your spelling

individual

Manpreet Toor

May 14, 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

215 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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