IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #recreation #sports
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
All the developing countries are making an effort on providing financial support to promote extracurricular activities. The government running
schools
Use synonyms
 are improving their sports infrastructure. While some people agree that it is equally important to enhance the sports facility in their
schools
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others quibble from them. I agree the governing bodies are doing the right thing by encouraging leisure activities at educational premises. The foremost concrete benefit, the
children
Use synonyms
 can incorporate from a better facility for the leisure activities is motivation and knowledge. It is irrefutably true that the thinking outside the box mentality can never be achieved just by sitting in a classroom and learning. Juveniles should be encouraged to play in the playgrounds or read novels in the library. According to a survey recently conducted in Melbourne, it was evident that
schools
Use synonyms
 are upgrading their libraries because
children
Use synonyms
 love to spend time reading different genre of books. Another key aspect
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 the future. Not everyone is supposed to be great at academics,
therefore
Linking Words
, it is indeed critical to uplift the
children
Use synonyms
 who love to play any sport or swim or any other non-academic activity.
For instance
Linking Words
,
schools
Use synonyms
 in New Delhi, India are conducting international level football coachings and national level swimming championships in their
schools
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 inspires teenagers to excel at their lovable sport and learn it from the bests. Several students from these
schools
Use synonyms
 have played numerous sports at the highest level,
thereafter
Linking Words
 making their
schools
Use synonyms
 proud. In conclusion, it is invariable true that academics and extracurricular are both essential for a child to learn. Different regimes spending some funds towards upgrading the condition for young
children
Use synonyms
 to play or spend their free time have been beneficial.
Submitted by atifcric08 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: