One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer, and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Research and technology in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
field are developed over a long period of time. The result of reformed medical care is that
people
Use synonyms
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longer
life
Use synonyms
and their
life
Use synonyms
anticipation is inclining.
This
Linking Words
assignment has more advantages
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disadvantages. The predominant advantage of improved medical care is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
get to know about their problems through
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology and cure their
their
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
health problems with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical treatment. To exemplify, in the early time period,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical technology was not present.
People
Use synonyms
had
health
Add an article
a health
show examples
issue at that time and doctors find
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
to cure a problem. Nowadays, development in the health institute, helps doctors to cure
a patients
Correct the article-noun agreement
patients
a patient
show examples
. Due to
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
a longer
life
Use synonyms
as compared to
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a few children have born with some kind of disease.
However
Linking Words
, they live a longer
life
Use synonyms
with a condition they have to take medicine
througout
Correct your spelling
throughout
their
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Submitted by rayatsahil7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: