More people shop, work and communicate via the internet instead of face-to-face communication. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Compared with the traditional way, there is a growth trend in doing your normal work like shopping, working, and communicating through the

Internet

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While

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there are some negatives associated with

this

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issue, I believe the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential negative of shopping online may be goods are not the same, both the light and the filter that the photographer uses to take a photo are essential.

Moreover

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, much dissatisfaction has been reported with

this

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issue. Another perceived negative is that staff can abuse working through the

Internet

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. it may lead to laziness. Indeed, their efficiency is not good enough

instead

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of going to the workplace.

Finally

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, they state that trusting

people

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through the

Internet

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is impossible. They are likely to face unsafe

people

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, which brings some problems like emotional abuse and

internet

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fraud.

On the other hand

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, a primary advantage of shopping online is that some factors like price, buyers’ recommendations, and varieties can easily compare with each other and find a suitable option. A

further

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reason for working through the

Internet

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is that it is environmentally –friendly, much petrol is not needed for commuting.

In addition

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, the figure for office expenditure will be decreased.

Besides

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, thanks to technology,

people

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around the world are more convenient to connect with their relatives or friends, in the past, they did not have

this

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chance. Using the

Internet

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is not a new phenomenon but it is paramount to teach

people

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how to use it, and policymakers should prepare strict laws to prevent

Internet

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crime. In conclusion, it is true that doing things on the

Internet

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would seem some disadvantages under certain circumstances.

However

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, in my view, its positive effects in terms of environmentally friendly and convenient use override the disadvantages.

sarataklimi89Mon Sep 02 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples. For instance, mention a particular case of internet fraud or a scenario showcasing environmental benefits to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Ensure all negative points are distinctly separated and explored with sufficient depth. For example, discuss internet fraud and emotional abuse as separate points to give each issue due attention.

task achievement

Elaborate on how teaching people to use the Internet and implementing strict laws can mitigate disadvantages. More details will enhance the essay's strength.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence variety to improve readability. Transition words and diverse sentence structures will contribute to a smoother flow.

coherence cohesion

Address minor grammatical errors, such as capitalizing the first letter of a sentence (e.g., 'it may lead to laziness' should be 'It may lead to laziness').

introduction conclusion present

The essay begins with a clear introduction that sets the context for the discussion.

introduction conclusion present

A well-structured conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your perspective.

logical structure

Logical structure maintains a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, contributing to overall coherence.

supported main points

Main points in the essay are supported with reasoning and examples, making the arguments more persuasive.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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More people shop, work and communicate via the internet instead of face-to-face communication. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

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