One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages are outweigh the disadvantages.

These days
people
are living a long age healthy
life
due to huge changes in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
field. I support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
statement
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
large extent. My position is argued
further
with
explanation
Add an article
the explanation
show examples
. Health
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
an essential role in human
life
. In
this
competitive era, medical care is developing day by day.
Government
spend
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of funds on medical care and research of new medicines. There are several advantages of it.
Firstly
, nowadays in all around world medical field has modern and high-tech
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
for
fight
Add an article
the fight
a fight
show examples
against all type of
disease
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
all types of cancer, stroke and infections.
Secondly
,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
more focusing
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
that type of
disease
which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
spreading
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
speed in
people
. Scientists
are
Change the verb form
also give
show examples
also
give their best to find
vaccine
Add an article
a vaccine
show examples
for that type of illness so as much as possible they can wipe
disease
also
Government
has become
success
Add an article
a success
show examples
to find
vaccine
Add an article
a vaccine
show examples
for some
disease
which are more dangerous. For exemplify, 10
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
ago,
Correct article usage
the polio
show examples
polio virus
Correct your spelling
poliovirus
show examples
was spread in India because of that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of
people
were dead but because of the vaccine of
it
Add a comma
,it
show examples
they were
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
to wipe it in only 6 months.
In contrast
, it would not look
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
side too.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
life
expectancy is increasing but
opposite
Change preposition
on opposite
show examples
side there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
are surviving with poverty.
People
live
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
life
that means they refuse to
retirement
Replace the word
retire
show examples
from their duties and due to
this
reason youngster could not find job or income sources. Youngsters become unemployed because old
people
have
hold
Change the verb form
held
show examples
their position.
Government
and family should support old
people
and give them huge money to spend their old age.
Thus
to conclude the discussion, it can be
finally
said that
Government
and
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
field doing their best for nationality. I believe that old aged
people
should take retirement after some age of their work
life
and for
Add a comma
,them
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
Government
should provide sufficient facilities.
Submitted by shubhampatel19021 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consequences
  • improved medical care
  • life expectancy
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • healthcare
  • quality of life
  • population
  • economic burden
  • elderly
  • dependency
  • technology
  • ethical concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: