More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive development or negative?

#people #clothes #attitude #development

Many young

people

think that being fashionable and wearing the latest items are needed in current trends.

Moreover

fashion

has become one of

potential

Add an article

the potential

show examples

sectors in creating new

jobs

in society. In my opinion, following the new

trend

may create many positive developments in several industries,

such

entertainment

Correct article usage

the entertainment

show examples

industry,

fashion

industry, or creative industry.

However

, we need to note there is

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

effect from

fast-

Add an article

the fast-fashion

a fast-fashion

show examples

fashion

trend

in our lives. On the one hand, being fashionable gives benefits to ourselves. It can boost our moods, be respected in some

jobs

or occasions, or can create a new job for some

people

. When we wear the latest

trend

fashion

, we feel happy and confident.

Also

Change preposition

show examples

some

jobs

and occasions, wearing fashionable clothes makes use being well respected

from

Change preposition

show examples

people

and audiences.

In addition

to that,

fashion

creates more opportunities for some

people

digitally. A lot of

jobs

are created in social media,

such

fashion

influencers or

fashion

content creators. That’s why

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

fashion

develops positive effects for our society.

However

, the change of

fashion

trend

seasonally becomes a new problem that not everyone realizes

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Fast

fashion

is one of the contributors

Change preposition

show examples

global warming and global pollution.

For instance

, post-

fashion

production in Indonesia is the big three

Change preposition

apply

show examples

waste contributors. We do not aware that we need many natural resources to produce a new fabric,

such

as water and plants.

Moreover

, not all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

clothes are recyclable, so the waste can

also

pollute and damage

Correct article usage

the

show examples

environment. So that, if we cannot control the fast-

fashion

trend

and do not move to do upcycle or recycle of the clothes,

this

will be a major issue of global warming in the upcoming years. To conclude,

although

wearing fashionable staples is important since it can be a self-entertainment, make us well-respected, and can create a new job opportunity,

fashion

has a downside in populating the environment with its fabric waste if we

loose

Replace the word

lose

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

control of

fashion

mass production.

Submitted by hanizachri on Mon May 17 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

5.50

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive development or negative?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

C can is bad. Why is this the case? What are the physical and mental impacts of eating at c can?

In some places, old age is valued, while in other culture, youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

the amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children do you think the best way to deal with the problem sir what others solution can you suggest.