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Band 5.5

Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decision
For several people, it is fact that
children
 should not be permitted to make their own selections on everyday cases
such
 as (meals, games and clothes).
Otherwise
, they will be selfish and stubborn who only think about their matters. Others, including me, support
idea
Add an article
the idea
show examples
 that
children
 might be given
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom in making
decisions
. On the one hand, there could be a case for saying that not
everytime
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every time
show examples
 kids can make
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
decisions
. It is obvious that without parents control or
advise
Replace the word
advice
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, they probably can make
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
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 decision which is may be crucial for their future. Playing video games,
for instance
, constantly without break may lead to various eye diseases and it can have an enormous effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their future life.
Moreover
,
children
 without
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parental instruction
,
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apply
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 may behave
egoistic
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egoistically
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 in
the
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apply
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society,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 may have
impact
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an impact
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 on our social environment.
On the other hand
,
i
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I
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 do believe that kids should make their own
decisions
 more freely
,
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apply
show examples
 because
this
 opportunity might bring them
sense
Add an article
a sense
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 of responsibility. The more
children
 decide freely, the wisely they make a decision.
For example
, if in every case individual wants parent's help and
advise
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advice
show examples
,
then
 they will
loss
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lose
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 the sense of responsibility.
Furthermore
, that
children
 who cannot come to decision when they are alone without any help, probably cannot achieve their wishes. To sum up, despite the fact that parents frequently should be support for their
children
 with making crucial
decisions
, it is
also
adviseable
Correct your spelling
advisable
show examples
 to give them
a
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apply
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liberty for their being a responsible identity.
Submitted by Flora on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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