Children should do organized activities in their free time while others believe children should be free to do what they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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this

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day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the opinion that

children

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are advised to partake in scheduled

activities

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in their spare time.

However

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, other people argue that

children

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should be liberty at

doing

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to do

show examples

everything that they love. From my perspective, I subscribe to the latter idea.

To begin

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with, if organized

activities

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are outdoor pursuits and

children

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do not show their fascination with them, it will prove challenging to force

children

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to follow scheduled

activities

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This

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is because

children

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only want to engage in pursuits that they are truly fascinated by.

For instance

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, a child having a great passion for

drawings

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drawing

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will seldom lean toward participating in sports

activities

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, so it is virtually impossible to organize

this

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kind of activity for him or her.

In addition

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, in the case that

children

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are allowed to join their favourite outdoor pursuits,

this

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means

parents

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respect their offspring’s options, leading to the fact that it will be less likely to have conflicts between

parents

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and their

children

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when it comes to

this

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problem.

However

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, there are a lot of other

activities

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which should be scheduled by

parents

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or teachers.

Firstly

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, those are ones which are helpful to society

such

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as doing charity or voluntary

works

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work

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. To be more specific, these

activities

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will educate

children

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on the significance of sharing and sympathizing with other people, so they will help them understand humane values.

Thus

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, it is necessary to schedule

this

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type of activity for

children

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Secondly

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, learning survival skills can become a pursuit that ought to be organized by teachers or

parents

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. When partaking in

this

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activity,

children

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will have great opportunities to comprehend the importance of survival skills in their real life and through that, they will have more motivation to be proficient in those skills like swimming. In conclusion, with all the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that

children

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should have the freedom to engage in any pursuit that they feel interested in but in some cases, scheduled

activities

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are necessary.

trangslelaidalatMon May 17 2021

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task response

The essay demonstrates a partially clear understanding of the question and the two opposing views. However, some points are not fully developed, and the examples are not consistently relevant to the discussion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be clearer and more concise. The essay would benefit from better linking words and cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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