Children should do organized activities in their free time while others believe children should be free to do what they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

In
this
day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the opinion that
children
are advised to partake in scheduled
activities
in their spare time.
However
, other people argue that
children
should be liberty at
doing
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to do
show examples
everything that they love. From my perspective, I subscribe to the latter idea.
To begin
with, if organized
activities
are outdoor pursuits and
children
do not show their fascination with them, it will prove challenging to force
children
to follow scheduled
activities
.
This
is because
children
only want to engage in pursuits that they are truly fascinated by.
For instance
, a child having a great passion for
drawings
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drawing
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will seldom lean toward participating in sports
activities
, so it is virtually impossible to organize
this
kind of activity for him or her.
In addition
, in the case that
children
are allowed to join their favourite outdoor pursuits,
this
means
parents
respect their offspring’s options, leading to the fact that it will be less likely to have conflicts between
parents
and their
children
when it comes to
this
problem.
However
, there are a lot of other
activities
which should be scheduled by
parents
or teachers.
Firstly
, those are ones which are helpful to society
such
as doing charity or voluntary
works
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work
show examples
. To be more specific, these
activities
will educate
children
on the significance of sharing and sympathizing with other people, so they will help them understand humane values.
Thus
, it is necessary to schedule
this
type of activity for
children
.
Secondly
, learning survival skills can become a pursuit that ought to be organized by teachers or
parents
. When partaking in
this
activity,
children
will have great opportunities to comprehend the importance of survival skills in their real life and through that, they will have more motivation to be proficient in those skills like swimming. In conclusion, with all the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that
children
should have the freedom to engage in any pursuit that they feel interested in but in some cases, scheduled
activities
are necessary.
Submitted by trangslelaidalat on

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task response
The essay demonstrates a partially clear understanding of the question and the two opposing views. However, some points are not fully developed, and the examples are not consistently relevant to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be clearer and more concise. The essay would benefit from better linking words and cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
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