Children should do organized activities in their free time while others believe children should be free to do what they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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In
this
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day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the opinion that
children
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are advised to partake in scheduled
activities
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in their spare time.
However
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, other people argue that
children
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should be liberty at
doing
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to do
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everything that they love. From my perspective, I subscribe to the latter idea.
To begin
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with, if organized
activities
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are outdoor pursuits and
children
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do not show their fascination with them, it will prove challenging to force
children
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to follow scheduled
activities
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.
This
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is because
children
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only want to engage in pursuits that they are truly fascinated by.
For instance
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, a child having a great passion for
drawings
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drawing
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will seldom lean toward participating in sports
activities
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, so it is virtually impossible to organize
this
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kind of activity for him or her.
In addition
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, in the case that
children
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are allowed to join their favourite outdoor pursuits,
this
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means
parents
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respect their offspring’s options, leading to the fact that it will be less likely to have conflicts between
parents
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and their
children
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when it comes to
this
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problem.
However
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, there are a lot of other
activities
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which should be scheduled by
parents
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or teachers.
Firstly
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, those are ones which are helpful to society
such
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as doing charity or voluntary
works
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work
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. To be more specific, these
activities
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will educate
children
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on the significance of sharing and sympathizing with other people, so they will help them understand humane values.
Thus
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, it is necessary to schedule
this
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type of activity for
children
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.
Secondly
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, learning survival skills can become a pursuit that ought to be organized by teachers or
parents
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. When partaking in
this
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activity,
children
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will have great opportunities to comprehend the importance of survival skills in their real life and through that, they will have more motivation to be proficient in those skills like swimming. In conclusion, with all the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that
children
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should have the freedom to engage in any pursuit that they feel interested in but in some cases, scheduled
activities
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are necessary.
Submitted by trangslelaidalat on

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task response
The essay demonstrates a partially clear understanding of the question and the two opposing views. However, some points are not fully developed, and the examples are not consistently relevant to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be clearer and more concise. The essay would benefit from better linking words and cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
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