IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that modern inventions have brought more problems than the benefits. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons to your answer, and required examples

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Due to the advancement of technology numerous technical
things
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 are very prominent in human daily
life
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. In these days technology inclining
day
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 by
day
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 people is fully dependent on the electrical
things
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 which have not benefited for their health and as well as our environment. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because modern
inventions
Use synonyms
 have more problematic rather than benefits, I will discuss my viewpoints in the posterior paragraphs. Admittedly, nowadays researchers are finding numerous gadgets which have very convenient for usage but for electrical
things
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 many major issues are occurring in the global world
such
Linking Words
 as, its effects on the people health
such
Linking Words
 as cancer problems are surging
day
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 by
day
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. Individuals are fully dependent on the
inventions
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 they do not want to perform anything with their hands.
For instance
Linking Words
, in past, most of the masses had done their households
work
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 with their hands without used any
machines
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 they lived long and healthy
life
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.
However
Linking Words
, in the present
machines
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 replace everything people are more lazy and unfit.
Moreover
Linking Words
, due to the technical ,
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goods
Add a comma
,goods
show examples
 the unemployment rate is increased because
machines
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 are working faster than humans so every employer prefers extra technical
goods
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 in their office.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
inventions
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 of
goods
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 impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the daily wages of an employee because
machines
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 are always doing accurate
work
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 but the human did mistakes in their
work
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 so stress level merges in the human's
life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, In the recent survey done by the Delhi ,university 80% of the top companies of world hired the very few employers of the
work
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 because their whole
work
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 depends on automatic
machines
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. Only 20% are hired employees in their era. To conclude, problems of
goods
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 outweigh the benefits because
inventions
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 of technical invite very
things
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 which have really bad impacts on human daily
life
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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