IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that mobile phones must be banned in public places such as libraries, shops or public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The massive burden of passing some strict rules in public
places
Use synonyms
 rests on the shoulders of high-ranking officials.
While
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 some argue that the government should impose some laws not to use cellphones in public environments, in my view,
this
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 is an unfair measure, since in emergency situations, people have no other choice but to make a call to ask some help. On the one hand, everybody has the right to benefit from a better standard of living. To clarify, when dwellers talk on their mobiles in some
places
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, like libraries, public transportation,and even hospitals, they can cause chaos and confusion for those who work and study in
such
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places
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. Indeed, a peaceful environment provides the chance for them to concentrate on their work.
Hence
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, nobody is allowed to make noise by talking to
others
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.
On the other hand
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, emergency situations go a long way.
For example
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, in
this
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 fast-paced life, everybody is bombarded with a torrent of vexingly complicated issues in their daily life. In
this
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 way, they have to make a call to ask for help from their family members and friends
,
Punctuation problem
;
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otherwise
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, they are forced with many irreversible consequences, but it is not as if they do not care about public rules.
In addition
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, they should place a high value on the volume of their voice.
In other words
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, if they are forced to call
others
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, they should talk moderately
not
Correct word choice
so as not
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 to bother those who are around them. In conclusion,
although
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 a peaceful environment should be an inseparable part of public
places
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 to increase the efficiency of those who work there, it does not necessarily mean individuals are not allowed to do it even in emergency situations. I strongly believe that if dwellers have to talk to
others
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 in public
places
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, they can do it by considering
others
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,
such
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 as talking in a slow voice.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it through the essay.
task response
Give one strong idea per paragraph and back it with clear facts or examples.
coherence
Use simple connect words to show cause and effect, not too many long phrases.
coherence
Check grammar and sentence form to avoid run‑on sentences.
task response
Clear position on the topic.
coherence
Good use of examples like libraries and buses.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Etiquette
  • Tranquility
  • Prohibit
  • Intrusive
  • Courtesy
  • Essential communication
  • Public decorum
  • Designated areas
  • Safety concerns
  • Noise pollution
  • Digital etiquette
  • Enforcement measures
  • Civic responsibility
  • Silent mode
  • Connectivity
  • Invasiveness
  • Social norms
  • Policy implementation
  • Moderation
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