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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in the countryside. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in?

The ongoing topic surrounding whether it is better for
people
Use synonyms
 to live in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 or in a big
city
Use synonyms
 has sparked intensive debate. Some hold that those rural areas are more suitable for them,
while
Linking Words
 others maintain that living in a thriving
city
Use synonyms
 is the optimum choice. After weighing the merits of both sides, I am inclined to stay in a big
city
Use synonyms
. There is no
deny
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denying
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 that the
countryside
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 has massive appealing advantages both
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
lifestyle
Change preposition
of lifestyle
show examples
 and the environment. Primarily,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
Use synonyms
 in the rural regions is more peaceful and laid-back. We have lower pressure with earning more money, and the pace of
life
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 is slow, which means it is an ideal place for us to keep away from bustling
life
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 and monotonous routine.
Additionally
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, the environment of
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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 is superior. What we should not neglect is that there is less environmental pollution,
such
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 as
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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hazardous gas, which severely damages our
respiration
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respiratory
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 system. Some research demonstrates that if
people
Use synonyms
 resident in the
countryside
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 for a long time,
then
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 their
Use synonyms
life
Check wording
apply
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well-being would be apparently enhanced.
Nevertheless
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, the multifaceted merits of living in a
city
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 with thriving economic development are more attractive
for
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to
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 me. We have to admit that we can enjoy indispensable convenience in these regions. That's because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there are comprehensive infrastructures that can satisfy every aspect of demand in our daily
life
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,
such
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 as advanced medicine, better educational resources and
variouse
Correct your spelling
various
 museums.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 have more opportunities to develop their own careers. Nowadays,
people
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severely suffer
Correct word order
suffer severely
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 from unemployment, and even young
people
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are struggled
Wrong verb form
struggle
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with finding
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to find
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 a suitable job.
Although
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 making a living in an
unfamilar
Correct your spelling
unfamiliar
 big
city
Use synonyms
 means we have to confront the challenges, there are more vacant positions with wider opportunities and
posibilities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
.
Enormous
Correct article usage
An enormous
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 study illustrates that
people
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 making a living in the developed cities are more likely to achieve
a
Correct article usage
apply
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success and realise their own value, which
further
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 reinforces the rationality of
this
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viewpoints
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoint
show examples
. In conclusion, after weighing the advantages of both sides thoroughly, I remain steadfast in my belief that living in a big
city
Use synonyms
 is an optimum choice,
due to
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 its crucial convenience and abundant opportunities.

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task
Answer the question in a clear line: say which place you pick and why, then give two strong reasons with a small detail for each.
coherence
Make the parts feel more tight. Start each paragraph with a main idea and finish with a line that links to the next idea.
language
Take care with word form and spellings. Use simple, correct phrases so the text is easier to read.
structure
The essay shows a clear view in the opening and closing lines.
coherence
There are good linking words like Nevertheless and In conclusion.
organization
Paragraphs are used to group ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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