Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success ? What makes a successful person ?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person

When talking about success, we often think of

people

who are rich or affluent.Some believe that success is based on wealth,

personally

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,personally

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I disagree with the idea that opulence is the key measure of being successful

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because I would argue that other factors are equally important. On the one hand, I agree that money is necessary in order for

people

to start their

business

For instance

,we all need financial aid to buy

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

or cover some

our

Change preposition

of our

show examples

basic needs, if we want to start our own

business

Additionally

,when we become a successful businessman,we may have some difficulties,because nobody knows that our

business

may get bankrupt or curb due to

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some financial problems.

Therefore

,in

this

case only if we have extra money and belonging materials ,we can maintain our

business

discipline to spend these properties.

Nevertheless

,I believe that other measures are just as important as being a rich person.

First

and foremost,

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

deal of knowledge and experience

are

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show examples

extremely important when we start a

business

.Having a good experience,

for example

people

can decide right decisions in some difficult situations.

Secondly

,in my view,without

self-confidence

Add a comma

,self-confidence

show examples

it is really hard to be successful.To elucidate,if

people

lose their confidence it means that they cannot control their

business

,as a consequence they might get bankrupt.

Finally

,being a friendly person increases others respects and it could be useful to enhance their career. In conclusion,while wealth certainly affects being successful, I do

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

believe that money outweighs all other factors.

Submitted by sarvarovich98 on Tue May 18 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings.Do you think wealth is the best measure of success ? What makes a successful person ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information; therefore, there is no need for printed books, magazines, and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers ( e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

Many people nowadays spent a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?